a strongly desired goal or purpose;

something that fully satisfies a wish

Do you have one? 

Proverbs 13:12 tells us,

“Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a dream fulfilled is a tree of life.”

Have you had your hope deferred?  

deferred-  Verb

  1. Put off (an action or event) to a later time; postpone.
  2. Submit humbly to (a person or a person’s wishes or qualities)

All of my life I dreamed of being a wife and a mother. I am certain that I wouldn’t have been perfect at this, and I am not nearly close to being so. In my dreams I stayed home and cared for my family, that’s all I wanted out of life. I am not a materialistic person. I like to read, and crochet, sew and create things from nothing, and I desperately wanted to watch my children grow each day with consistent support from me at home and then in their classrooms. God had other plans it seems. I heed His plan above my own. I heed his training to follow and obey my husband and allow him to lead me, because of my love for him.

My love is an action. Did you know that? Our society does all it can to tell us that love is an emotion, it is not. The Bible tells us that it is an action, “For God so loved the world, that He sent His only begotten son, that whosoever believed would not perish but have everlasting life.” It was an action, the way we tend to believe is He would have cried over us and moved on, but God showed us that one Holy day that Love was far above a hearts cry, or an emotion that we can argue according to our circumstance.

We have been trained that we are all created equal, and we are, but we are not all created to lead. We are each created with a unique role that only we can fill. As Tim’s wife, my role is to obey his decision making for our family. As his wife, I am able to offer my opinion, the ways I feel it will affect our family, but then I have to give him the ability to make the final decision. This is the most difficult thing I have done. Losing loved ones and dealing with the loss is hard, it’s so hard, but living for something and someone and allowing them to be the compass for you, whew, I didn’t know it would be so difficult.

In the movies, the guy always gets the girl, and she always gets a romantic, affectionate, bend over backwards guy who not only gives her what she needs but what she wants. This is where I got lost. I got hooked on Romance novels when I was young, I have loved reading all of my life, (hiding under the blanket with a flashlight past my bedtime kinda love) and when those novels got me, well I was a goner. I bought the lie. I still buy the lie sometimes, through a movie that just makes love look easy, and makes me second guess my own life. Have you done this? Our enemy loves when we buy the lie.

Although I buy Christian Romances now, or download the free ebooks, bless you Christianbook.com; I buy into the Jesus as the center thought now and I see it for what it is, love: an action that comes through the giver of love Himself, Jesus. Me giving up me to be an us, and a we. The problem of course is that I so bought the lie, over so many years of my tender adolescent thinking, that no one could ever compare to the collective hero’s in all those books from my past. My husband was doomed to fail. The enemy relishes this. He is thrilled that we self destruct our own marriages without him even having to lift his hand. We use money stewarded from God (He supplies all my needs, and our jobs; careers) to purchase things that undermine the Christ centered foundation of marriage that we should be fostering. For men we say pornography is the most vile and covenant destroying thing- and ladies I know some of you have struggled with this too. In fact this is a growing trend in our nation, perversion is upon us.

Ladies, let me tell you, it is equally sinful for you to allow your minds to wallow in a false belief of love and marriage, and for most of the secular books a strong perversion of sex. If the “hero” in the book were here in front of you, they would be flawed. Like seriously flawed, because they come from the same fallen world as you, and only through Christ alone can they be men who are worthy to lead you by the grace of God.

You are flawed too. I know it’s shocking. It was to me too.  Ask my husband. I really grew up as a Follower of Christ and I fell away, and when I acknowledged my sinful nature it was an emotional time. I too have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God, apart from Him I can do nothing. Definitely nothing good or worthy, for sure! I want to be set apart. I want to be a leader of the cause for following Christ. I want my dreams to be fulfilled. I believe our dreams are with us before we ever come to this world. That the plans of God are for us and with us to complete according to His word. “For I know the plans I have for you says the Lord, plans for good and not for evil, plans to give you a future and a hope.” The hope is the dream. “My hope is filled with nothing less than Jesus blood and righteousness, I dare not trust the sweetest frame, but wholly trust in Jesus name”. My dreams; well, they are vast. I see some so clearly and wonder what is keeping me from them. He wants only good and perfect things for us, so if something is keeping us from the dream or the blessing of God, it has to be US! It’s me holding myself back from God’s ability to do more than I can even ask or imagine. I have to be solely His! 

What’s your dream? Is it something that would bring honor to God, and please Him. Would it bring a smile to His face; if it would, you can guarantee that He wants to give it to you. He is just waiting on you to get in line. For me, I think He needs me to come to a new level of submission and love as an action to my husband. If I can’t get my part right, I break the whole family down. If I am breaking the whole family down now I definitely wouldn’t do well as a stay at home wife or mother until I can learn to be a blessing through the 40 hour work week and the frustrations of life. Until I can learn to obey my husband as He follows the Lord, I will not be an example to my children on the way they are to follow our collective lead. Will my dream ever come true, well I don’t really know, what I do know is that God the giver of dreams will change the dream to something even greater than what I imagined if I am walking with Him. 

Spend some time with your creator today, he desperately wants to hear from you.


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