Our darling Pastor’s Wife speaks on Mother’s Day each year at our church. She is truly one of the most adorable and real people I have ever met. I am impressed by her as a woman, wife and mother. She constantly encourages me with a small word spoken at the right time or a well placed sigh when she is weary. It encourages me because it reminds me that I am human, that it’s ok to feel worn down or tired, without conceding defeat. She reminds me that my greatest Commission is to raise God fearing children while loving them completely for who they are in the process.
This years mother’s day was about being intentional. Truly seeing your husband and children, and letting them know what joy they bring to you. Her specific phrase has stuck with me, and I attempt now to be intentional using it, “It’s good to see you” (While smiling and looking into their eyes). Whether you say it in the morning, after school, during bed time prayers, it has consistently brought a smile to my children’s faces. To know their mommy is happy to see them.
I felt convicted at first, because I don’t have enough time to pour into my children the way I want too, and all the “extra” time on my hands is spent refreshing me. I am being so honest, and it’s painful to be this transparent and open to you, those who read and those who know me, and may not know some of these things about me. I craft, I read, I normally craft and listen to a television show that makes me giggle and it helps to release my tension. I begin to feel more relaxed. The problem with crafting, is that I don’t like to leave a project; ever. I want it finished, right then so I can move on. This causes major decay in my home. It gets out of order. It gets messy, fast. It becomes disorderly, quickly. It becomes a mad house instead of a peaceful refuge.
Many of you are Stay at Home moms, and I believe that is a very high calling. One I wish I could answer. As I am unable to do that at this time in our lives, I have to find ways to work full time, work part-time, see my children- really see them, and communicate with them, see and love on my husband, and then take care of the house, cooking, and homework. Side Note- Homework these days is intense… seriously. It takes a good hour for my first and second grader to do homework a piece. It is impossible.
I can not do it all, what I can do is surrender my weakness, my time and my love over to the Lord to create something incredible. If I give it to Him and allow Him to use it, I can move mountains of clothes through a washer and dryer in record time. I somehow have octopus hands that do multiple tasks all at the same time. I have a mind that centers on my Savior who can do all things through me. I have children that when prayed over develop an ability to get through homework with exceptional work, in a shorter period of time.
I have to be intentional. In my prayer time, in my moments of need, in my communication with those around me. I have to trust that He who began a good work will be faithful to complete it.
I had a very special moment with my son recently. He is 6. He is wild and crazy and allllll boy. He is precious beyond measure. He is my sweet Monkey Boy. Our children have been in church since infancy. We continuously teach them standards, principles and faith. We most importantly share about Jesus, His sacrifice on a cross, His love for a creation that was out of control, wrapped in sin that they were unable to break from. They needed a perfect Savior, the Son of God in human form to release them from the bonds of their prison. They got Jesus. We have Jesus. He is always here, always available and always wants to be with you- no matter how dark, dirty or messy you are. He may not allow you to stay in that place, but He wants to walk with you into the light.
Cash and I were riding with my sleeping husband and baby girl- I was driving to clarify- 🙂 and he asked me, “Do we knew anyone in there” (the funeral home near our home) I don’t know why he asked that, but he did. I told him, “No.”, “We don’t know anyone there right now”.
“Mom they go to be with Jesus right?”
“No, buddy, not everyone who goes there gets to be with Jesus”.
“Why not mom? He loves us?”
“Cash-where does Jesus live?”
“In our hearts and in heaven.”
“Yes, that’s right. how do we know we are going to that place?”
“Because we know Jesus.”
“Yes, and what happens when someone doesn’t know Jesus?”
“I don’t know.” (Silence- Have I really never explained this part- yikes.)
“Well bud, God loved us so much that when He saw the world turning away from Him a long time ago, He had to send His son Jesus to make a way for us to be with Him again. Sin separates us from God. Jesus was the only way to make sure we could go to heaven and know God.If someone doesn’t want to know God or Jesus, then they can’t go to heaven to be with Him.”
“So mom if you die, you will go to heaven right?”
“Yes bud, I am going to heaven.”
“Will I see you again if you die?”
“If you know Jesus, yes. If you don’t accept Him, then no, we wouldn’t see each other again.”
“Oh. Ok.” He gets very quiet.
“Mom? You know so much about God and Jesus, I am glad you can tell me about them.”
“Cash, when you decide to follow Jesus, or to let Him be a part of your life, please tell Mommy or Daddy or someone at church, or our family, because we want to pray with you and celebrate with you.”
“Ok. Mom when I do that I will tell you.”
See, I have taught about God and Jesus and Holy Spirit so much, that I thought my kids were already saved. I truly believed that they had a secure understanding. I learned that night, that while Cash mostly understands, I have to be intentional about communicating with him about this. His tender heart is full of rich soil right now. If I handle that heart too roughly, by a tart response, or an ill placed word, I can close that tender heart and it will become like stone.
Our children, are shaped by us. Sure the world around them has some influence, but we are the gatekeepers. We allow things to flow in and out of them. We must be intentional on capturing our children’s hearts for the Kingdom. Nothing hurts me more than the thought of my children living life without Jesus. There is no life apart from Him, only death and pain. He is the way the truth and the light! He is incredible, and we can tell our children about that all day, or we can be intentional about leading them in times of prayer, worship and devotion that lead them into an experience with their Creator.
I am so grateful that I was taught about being intentional. It is a wonderful reminder, that my appointment calendar needs to have reminders about the things that aren’t physical. I must have time with my children in the presence of God scheduled in. It is more important than the basketball game they have to play. Its more important that practicing for sports, music, or any other extra curricular activity. No other event in my calendar can determine the course of my children’s destiny, or their salvation.
If you feel convicted- you aren’t alone. We are learning together, everyday to be more like Jesus- none of us have achieved that goal yet, He doesn’t expect us too, but He loves that we try.