Nothing Is More Free Than Your Will

I am consistently amazed by what my children say and do.

Sometimes I feel like the smile stuck to my face due to Cash’s crazy antics will never go away; my cheeks hurt and my tummy is normally tied up in laughing knots.

Loralei will say something so kind, beyond her years ,that will bring me such inner joy that her heart is so sweet that I am overwhelmed with emotion.

And then…

There are days…

some of you know what I am talking about… where…oh…

It takes a miracle from God, to renew my mind, body and spirit to view them out of Christ’s eyes instead of my human eyes.

My human eyes… whew-  they are like laser beams when I am upset- frustrated of angry.

That is when I transform negatively into the Hulk, and smash becomes my attitude.

I have given you access to my most inner failing. I am so far from perfect. I write this blog because when I write, I have to contemplate my life, my mistakes, my gifts and pray that the Lord renews my giftings, forgives my mistakes and corrects my hearts cry until it matches His again.

I often realize that I talk about Cash a lot. Enough that I have to be careful to make sure I tell of Loralei’s beautiful qualities as often as a rail against Cash’s negative or comical qualities. Qualities I myself have; qualities Tim has, and qualities we have displayed and Cash has received- the good- the bad-the ugly.

My sweet boy- because he is sweet- don’t get me wrong, he calls me sweet momma, and thinks of such cool things to say and do to make me feel special; he really struggles in some areas. We as his parents don’t spoil with gifts. We never have and we have done all we can to keep he and Loralei from having “more than enough”, and to teach giving. They receive commissions each week for work they do at the house. They know what is expected; just because you are in the family, and they know what is expected; if you want to get paid on Friday. They then separate their money, OfferingGiving, Saving and Spending. He is trying to save up to buy yet another Lego set.

Last week they both had their tonsils removed, and since, have stayed with various and wonderful family members who care for them while Tim and I work and they recover.

My grandmother kept them for the first time ever on Tuesday. First. Time. Ever.

I was thrilled, because they love her and they are old enough now to behave and be helpers instead of needers.  She wanted to take them to the store to buy them something. Which is awesome! A special gift for nothing! Too cool!

In the aisle they stand, and Cash is adamant, he needs 2 things. (he needs to thank God I was not there.) He doesn’t just need the NERF Crossbow, but the extra pack bullets too, for an additonal $10.

Thankfully she had the good sense to tell him NO! When he got back to her house and started playing with it, he started whining about not having anymore bullets, and he made no attempt to relocate the bullets that did come with his gun. Unfortunately, He had the misfortune of explaining to me that he had done nothing wrong, and didn’t believe he owed his Nannie an apology. It quickly spiraled into a temper tantrum of intense proportions. Although I had to deal with the reactive behavior, I was much more concerned with the initial behavior. Ungratefulness.

Due to those behaviors he lost the gun he so desired, television, and his tablet time at home. A truly devastating loss to a 6 year old.  Most importantly, he will be going to his Nannies to work off what she paid for the gun he no longer has; in yardwork. – that’s right- hard work is good for the soul! Those who do not work- do not eat. Those who gripe and complain about a free gift- lose the gift!

He will quickly learn that the thing we are given that is free- our free will- can cost us everything or give us everything. We must choose our attitude and attempt to line it up next to His heart, if not we are giving away something much more valuable- our intimacy with Him.

Isn’t that the way of the Lord, if we seek Him first, He will add everything to us. If we seek us first; we will most assuredly lose everything. It’s a hard lesson to learn, at 6 or 90, but learn it, we must!






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