Yesterday I experienced something brand new in worship. Something I have never had happen before. I had a vision. It was so awesome and so simple and I thought, “wow, this is what it’s like”?!
Remember that song- Keith Whitley did and then Alison Krauss remade it- “When you say nothing at all”?
That was my dad and my song. We used to sing it together, and now when I hear it, I cry or weep or think about how different this life has been, how the unexpected is always unexpected. When you thought you knew someone and then realize that you never really did. Or when you are so overwhelmed with disappointment and hurt that you cut off any and everything that has the potential to enter that inner circle. “When you say nothing at all” has some incredible words, my favorites were, “try as I may, I could never explain, what I hear when you don’t say a thing”.
That’t what yesterday was like. I saw what I couldn’t hear. He is incredible. The God who spun you into existence long before He laid the foundations of the earth; He is amazing.
I left my house in a rush yesterday because I was running late to get to worship practice; it was pouring rain, in a way I haven’t seen in a very long time. The ground was unable to absorb it quickly enough so it was pooling rapidly in our ditch out front. The ditch is normally bone dry and it is at a minimum 2 feet deep. It was overflowing as I was pulling out of the driveway, and I focused and went on in to church. As the service ramped up during worship, we were singing Fire Fall Down. For those of you who have experienced open worship that’s a normal style worship song, but for so many others the thought of calling Fire down sounds a bit strange and uncomfortable. As we were worshipping though I saw my ditch flooding over and felt it impressed upon me without words that the Lord is desiring to pour Himself out like the rain yesterday morning, so much that we can not contain His presence, that it floods over onto everyone and everything around us. I could feel His desperation for us to experience His fullness and I spoke. I expressed exactly that to the congregation gathered there in His name. I rarely speak into microphones, I sing, and sing only, and even when I am singing, I rarely want to use a microphone because He is the only one I care to sing to. My worship isn’t for people, it’s for the living God who set me free, who drew me into His arms when I was unworthy to rest there. He took in a pauper and made her a princess. It is the perfect picture of His mercy and grace in our lives, that we would sup with Him at His dinner table.
As I was speaking I could sense fear crowding in around me, would I be judged, do the people who know me best think, “What is she doing, she is so flawed.” I was feeling pressure, “If I mess this up, then the service is changed and not for the better.” At the end, I just had to embrace the courage to speak out, because holding it in not only could have trapped me in fear of ever speaking, or not giving someone a picture that the Lord had for them, and the courage to reach out and take what the Lord was offering.
If you are in a dry and desperate place today, reach out to Him, He is waiting to take your hand and lead you on a path of restoration, goodness and mercy!!!
Get drenched in His presence today!