In July we deal with the loss of my dad. It’s a rough month, and while we know that he is in a great place, the best place, it still leaves us longing for him.
It always makes me think about my life. My legacy. We all will have one. What will be said of me when I am gone? How will people remember me, smiling? Happy? Grumpy? Disillusioned? Lost? Found?
I don’t know. I think we all hope to be remembered in the way that we would best want to represent ourselves, but is that who I really am, everyday? Doubtful.
I am the only one who can enforce that change though, from the who I always am to the woman I want to be, the friend, the wife, the mom that I desire to be. Will my errors and failures determine who I was? Will my children’s successes and failures determine who I was? Can I make a difference today that will leave a mark on history? Yes. I can. I am not awesome, incredible or cool even. I am a nerd. I like fixing computer problems, and troubleshooting things, making things with power tools- the big kinds, building things from scratch; from desserts to desks. I like to create new things out of old things. I have learned that He does too. The Lord who made you created you as you are, and He has a place He wants to take you to. A you; that you have always desired to be. That new you, can do anything with His help. You can change you. You can make you better. It doesn’t mean that people won’t still think you are the old you, or that they will stop referencing the time of your life where it was all messed up; but it will stop them from saying you still do what you used to do. No one can prove a heart change, but you can prove an actions change. I can change my face. Not only with cosmetics, but I can smile at a stranger when I normally would pass without any interaction. I can pick up what someone else drops and return it to them, I can buy dinner for the person behind me in the fast food line. I can be the change I want to see in the world and when I am gone; it can be said, that I changed the world.