It’s His- Give it up!

I am behind the curve- I just heard “He Knows My Name” by Francesca Battistelli—The words to that song… wow.

I have been singing since I was a little girl. Like a really little girl. I love it. It has given me such joy and such pain. When you sing, you are exposed. It’s the only way I can describe it. It’s not an instrument where your fingernail can catch on a string, or the pedal on the keyboard gets stuck- if you mess up vocally- it’s all on you.

I am a perfectionist.

I take every word out of my mouth in song, incredibly seriously.

I have failed.

I have succeeded.

I have led and been led into worship more times than I can count and the day I get to sing around His throne is the day my dreams come true.

 

Unfortunately, a part of being able to sing is the expectations placed on you by yourself and others. I have yet to meet a singer who secretly didn’t wish that they were famous or the best- because inside we all want what we love more than anything to be what we are known for. That dream, has long died for me, and I find that the deader it gets the better I get. I have always done this music thing on my own. I can remember one time in a production, where the song was very difficult and out of my range, and I had no choice but to ask the Lord to help me or it was going to be an epic fail. A humongous epic fail. I didn’t fail that day- I will remember that moment for the remainder of my life, when God flooded me. It was supernatural, it was Him-showing off and I let Him use me. I remember not even remembering it although it had just happened- because it really wasn’t me.

I am learning, more everyday that sitting on my front porch with a  guitar in my hand and a song in my heart does more for my family and my heart than a moment on a stage in front of millions of paying fans. I am learning that what I love to do is a ministry most often for my family and I; than for the people I used to see swaying to my music. It is meaningless, nothing, without Him. If it isn’t for Him… what good is it?If my talent was given by Him, who am I to call it mine, or determine how it will be used. Maybe it’s just for a person passing by my house on a bike ride- maybe it’s just about His presence being brought into a situation, into a room, an atmosphere changer. Maybe I will never have my name in lights. Maybe I will never sing on a grand stage, maybe I won’t live that old dream- but His dream is better.

“I wouldn’t choose me first if
I was looking for a champion
In fact I’d understand if
You picked everyone before me
But that’s just not my story
True to who You are
You saw my heart
and made Something out of nothing
I don’t need my name in lights
I’m famous in my Father’s eyes
Make no mistake
He knows my name
I’m not living for applause
I’m already so adored
It’s all His stage…

——————————

I’m not meant to just stay quiet
I’m meant to be a lion
I’ll roar beyond a song
With every moment that I’ve got
True to who You are
You saw my heart
and made
Something out of nothing”
Today- whatever gift you have- surrender it back to Him. It will not serve a purpose in the wrong hands, and our hands aren’t meant to hold it anyway. If you give it to Him, He will out give you 100x’s over!

Blessings,

mel

 

 

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