In the Action!

Hey There!

I have missed you. I wonder sometimes what would happen if I just stopped writing, and then due to a crazy unexpected week, I did, and I realized exactly what would happen… I begin to go… well crazy.

Tim, and the kids don’t deserve crazy me, so if I stop writing- pray for them, they need it! 🙂

We have had a week. I won’t go into details, but hear me when I say, this week could not have been more unexpected. If you are having one of those days, weeks, months or years, my family has been there. We have walked almost every crisis on the planet. Literally- this is not an exaggeration. We have learned one thing in this process. God is Faithful. Always.

He never misses the opportunity to turn your life around. He never is caught unaware of what is coming your way.

He is always able, and always willing to inject Himself into your mess- self created or otherwise.

He is God, He is incredible and His grace is enough for you. No matter what you are walking through, or what you have put someone else through.

If you have a moment- please pray for our family today, or whenever you read this, that God will give us grace to forgive, as He has forgiven us. Don’t believe for a moment that the Lord has forgotten you, or misplaced you. Continue to cry out to Him, His ears are open— does God have ears?

I’ll leave you with that thought!





Two Sparrows in a Hurricane

When I was young, around 12ish, I was at my grandmother’s, more affectionately known as Nannie, and now as an adult- Nan. (More about why the name grandma, or grandmother doesn’t seem affectionate another time) : )

We were in her house either sewing or cleaning- either could have been correct, because that’s what I did there most of the time; and I loved both.  The song Tanya Tucker used to sing came on the radio- Two Sparrows in a Hurricane. If you don’t listen to Country Music then you probably haven’t heard it, but I remember that she stopped what she was doing, and that was odd. She is like me, we don’t sit still. It just doesn’t happen, I would love to sit still, yet I can’t seem to get my body to listen. She closed her eyes and I asked her what was wrong, and she told me, “This was papa’s and my song”. She didn’t sing it, in fact, I don’t know that I have ever heard my Nan sing. I am sure she sings the hymns at her church, but I think it is more Millie Vanilli style. Lips are moving, but sound does not appear.

She sat still for almost the entire song, and I was moved. My grandfather, Papa, died when I was about 8/9 years old. He had a head injury and lived in a coma for 3 years after. When he began to get better, he fell out of his wheelchair at the nursing home. I remember sitting in his lap cuddling him and laying beside him in his bed at the nursing home. I remember when he passed and how sad everyone was. More pleasantly I remember him riding me on his tractor to the mailbox to get mail, and on a fun golf cartish contraption from back in the early 80’s. I remember being called “toot-toot”. A name I have ashamedly lived up too. 🙂 I remember joy when I was around him, and feeling like I mattered. I remember hat he had a scratchy gray, black beard and that my Uncle Steve looked just like him.

What I don’t remember are the years before I was born, the times when my Nan weaped at home, because she lived during a different time. A time where her wants, rights and wishes for her life, mattered very little. Where adultery was a norm, and women must turn a blind eye to it, or live miserable for presenting it as a problem. My Nan was different than most women. She is tough as nails, most of which I am learning is how she protects herself. She hides as I do, behind a very strong exterior. Inside though, there is brokenness and pain. She loved my papa. I mean really loved him. He was not a saint, nor was she. He was not her dream come true everyday, but neither was she. He was full of himself and stingy with his money. He was a good father, and a good friend. From all accounts I have heard as an adult, he was a good man. Who made mistakes, just like you and I. My Nan loved him, and he loved her and they fought the rest of the world to make it. Never believe that your marriage is not a place of attack. The enemy doesn’t care whether you are serving the Lord, or not, he hates marriage. He despises when we value and honor a covenant, because it is something HE does not have the ability to have.  Within every marriage there are hiccups, some are huge, and some are small. Some matter a lot, and others seems little by comparison, but never believe that the mini fights can’t be the last straw. The little fights, normally range around very important things that matter. For my Nan a little say in some things would have made a huge difference to her. Being asked what her opinion is and feeling that it mattered- could have changed everything.

As it is, Nan loved my papa and he loved her, and despite what pain they caused each other in their years together, they brought just as much joy and happiness. The lyrics below tell not just my Nan’s story, but mine as well. She taught me to persevere. To not back down, to value my marriage, to fight for it when everyone else thinks you are crazy. To value the risks with the reward.


She’s fifteen and he’s barely driving a car
She’s got his ring and he’s got the keys to her heart
It’s just matter of time
They’ll spread their wings and fly

two sparrows in a hurricane
Trying to find their way
With a head full of dreams
and faith that can move anything
They’ve heard it’s all uphill
But all they know is how they feel
The world says they’ll never make it, love says they will

There’s a baby crying and one more on the way
There’s a wolf at the door with a big stack of bills
They can’t pay
The clouds are dark and the wind is high
But they can see the other side

She’s eighty-three and he’s barely driving a car
She’s got his ring and he’s got the key to her heart
It’s just a matter of time
They’ll spread their wings and fly

Like two sparrows in a hurricane
Trying to find their way
With a head full of dreams
and faith that can move anything
They’ve heard it’s all uphill
But all they know is how they feel
The world says they’ll never make it, love says they will

Love makes a way- where there was no way. On the days I want more than anything to throw in the towel, those tough days where you must dig deep within yourself to find a well of love for your spouse, I remind myself; I fight not for myself and Tim, but for my grandchildren and great grandchildren who will be able to say, the World says, we will never make it; but Love says we will. Love is God, and God is love. He says we will make it. I hold onto His word tight and I believe that He will be faithful to complete every good work He begins.




Ignorance, is Bliss

I was looking through Bible Gateway for some things today and I stumbled on this…

The Lord’s Grace to Paul

12 I thank Christ Jesus our Lord, who has given me strength, that he considered me trustworthy, appointing me to his service. 13 Even though I was once a blasphemer and a persecutor and a violent man, I was shown mercy because I acted in ignorance and unbelief. 14 The grace of our Lord was poured out on me abundantly, along with the faith and love that are in Christ Jesus.

This caught me today… because I unlike Paul, do not act in ignorance or unbelief. Everything I do is done with belief and understanding of who God is. The good and the bad. That’s a bit frightening to me. I know better. I am able to change my responses to things, I am able to fight temptation, I am able to guard my heart against all else; but will I; do I?

How I fall. So often. I just throw in the towel and run with whatever is going on. I lose, Tim loses, and the children lose. It isn’t who I want to be. I want to be a woman that can look her grandchildren in the eye and say, “I have been on my knees for you since your momma was 8 years old; believing that the Lord has plans for you, and placing a hedge of protection around you, a spirit of boldness and an everlasting love for your creator and savior.” I can’t say that right now! I fail daily trying to remember just to pray for Tim or the children. We sang yesterday Fire Fall Down and we went into spontaneous worship; it was wonderful, and the words began to seep into my spirit and I realized that the fire has diminished, that the enemy no longer feels fear when I wake up in the morning, and place my foot on the floor. I want the enemy to quake when I wake up. I want him to want me out of this world so badly that he lives in the presence of God asking to take me out. If that isn’t what I am doing to him, I am missing the mark, I am making more ineffective children calling themselves Christians while never knowing the sacrificial life of a martyr for Christ.

I would easily step in front of a bullet for someone else, especially if I didn’t know if they were saved, but would I live for Him everyday, as though every one around me is in jeopardy of a life in eternal fire?

Right now, our society is in a war that most are unaware of. They call the word of God offensive, they determine what we can do, what we can say and they change the standards of what marriage and life and death are. And we allow it. We do not stand. We fear losing our jobs. We fear others arguing with us. We fear being considered aggressive or defensive. We must take a stand. Our children need information at an appropriate level at the appropriate age. My children haven’t realized what being homosexual or gay is. They understand that their grandpa lives in a way that doesn’t honor God. That he chooses to disobey the Lord. I can say he disobeys because he knew the Lord. He made a decision to go back into that lifestyle and married his partner last year. My children don’t see them, because they choose to not be a part of our lives. It’s heartbreaking and so very sad, but it’s so important that they learn that no matter what the culture dictates we are responsible for hearing, reading and obeying the word of God and living a life that honors Him. Are we perfect? Nope. Do I teach my children that we should or could be perfect, no I don’t. I tell them what the word tells them. In this life, there will be trouble. There will be trials, and tribulations, storms and conflict… but there is grace, mercy, love and the One who has overcome the world is able to do abundantly beyond what they can ask or imagine when He gives you the strength.

There is a war. Do not be deceived. You have a role to play, but will you take up your sword and shield, or will you choose to watch from the sidelines?



His Workmanship- but What Work?

Did you read “A Purpose Driven Life” by Pastor Rick Warren?
I remember when this book came out and people were buying it like it was candy on the $.10 rack. Did you have one of those in the convenience store near you growing up? Loved me some tootsies and bit ‘o honey’s… mmmm good… but back to the book- I am easily distracted by food and candy… and Dr. Pepper!

Ephesians 2:10 (NIV) For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.

I remember learning that verse and I had a key chain that would remind me anytime I looked down. I would feel that little tag everytime I left the house, or got into my car and I was reminded that He planned my days long ago, and He didn’t leave me here for giggles. Over time I have forgotten that I was given a mission- an absolute purpose in this life. I am like many of you. I don’t know what that purpose is. I search, but I do not find, I knock and it hasn’t been answered yet, but I am comforted, that HE WILL answer. My time table is not His. My plans are not His. My goals, dreams and ambitions, are not His. His are perfect and they lead me only down paths of righteousness for His namesake. I do desire to know. I want to experience His fullness, and right now the only times I feel Him, are tapping out some words on here, or singing to Him.

He is so glorious, and I love Him so, I get lost in relationships. I often pray that relationships will be the area the Lord doesn’t use me. I know that is a terrible thing to pray, but I am not good at relationships. I struggle. I see my side and only my side, I feel compassion, but not enough to change my stance. I am unwavering and loyal to a fault- but what does that mean anyway, loyalty is honored by God, right? I mean whoever came out with that phrase didn’t know what servant leadership was, to serve and follow the authority above you, even when you don’t agree. It’s kinda like eating the worm at the bottom of a tequila bottle- something I have never done, but I hear it’s the pits… but not when you are doing it. The next day you wake up and realize you don’t know what happened the night before, following the Lord can be like that, but in beautiful ways. He helps you forget the heartache of your decisions, and turns you towards compassion when contempt was your first reaction. He gives you little memory of the days where you suffered long, and instead shows you how His glory was manifest.

What I would give to know the plan He has for me. I know it’s good- because He promises it is. I know it’s for His glory- because everything is. I know it’s trustworthy and dependable, because He is. I know it’s for eternal joy- because no matter how bad I mess it up down here, getting my feelings, and thoughts and criticisms involved, He waits with open arms to welcome me into His Kingdom. If my only goal is to practice singing “Holy, Holy, Holy is the Lord God Almighty” until I can join the choir at His throne, Lord, give me the strength and endurance to sing it all the days of my life. That’s all He ever wanted- to know You are His, to be willing to give all you are, all you have to follow Him.

If you don’t know what you are called too today, keep knocking, keep seeking and you are promised to find, not only the answer, but the One who gave you the question waiting- arms open, blueprint in hand.

When I can’t do anything else… I can pray

Hello Dear Friends,

I am sitting in front of my computer looking quite pitiful tonight.

Have you desperately loves someone before? I mean really gave up a part of you to love them?

Then they wound you, mortally. A searing pain rips through you, and you begin to see that maybe they aren’t who you thought they were, and then doubt creeps in.

Doubt is just that- a creep.

I think there could be no pain like being wounded by your best friend, your most trusted ally. The one you run too before a battle for encouragement and the one who lifts your head when the battle didn’t go so well. When that person, the one you adore hurts you, there is a loss of blood. There is a stain dripped down onto that bright white garment you wear. It’s color once bright fades to a dark, bitter maroon, and then a rusty brown. I wonder if that is something that happened before or after the cross. Was it always that color upon death of the cells, or did blood change forever to a rusty nail infested color after our Saviors hands were hung like a picture frame to a wooden cross.

I write because I feel the Lord when I do. You will see if you read more than this post that He somehow comes in, a midst my ramblings and hijacks whatever I was saying, and He encourages you. I am only human, so incredibly feeble and feeling. I am so glad He doesn’t operate upon his feelings for us.

When you have been hurt, there is only one who can bring peace, comfort, and restore what is lost, broken or dead; Jesus, Himself. He sends Holy Spirit to begin working in our heart to promote a softness among a wall of pain. He send in archers of love – like cupid- to begin ministering to the broken part of us, and He begins to heal. He doesn’t move quickly- this I know. He moves at His own speed, and who are we-literally to question it. But… my husband hates that word- we do question Him don’t we? We don’t understand and we weren’t meant too, the timing was off, the right people weren’t in place, the one who hurt you hadn’t acknowledged their part in the equation.

I have few things that I deeply enjoy. I am an introvert. I actually took a test that told me that and I didn’t believe it at first. I have lately begun to see the signs. My favorite activities are reading, sewing, singing, and staying home. I am a homebody, and because I go out to work everyday, when I get off, the only place I want to be is home. I want to be at the place my favorite people are. I enjoy them, they are why I work to begin with! I have begun sewing things that actually have the potential to be sold.

I was so excited when I sold my first bag. Right after that I was asked to make a memory quilt and I jumped at the opportunity to use something I love to bless someone else. I didn’t charge much because this was something that would become a legacy for someone else. Then the same person asked for multiple quilts- about 7. I sewed and sewed and I am still sewing and sewing to finish the last 3. I made a purse in camo because my darling brother said to me, “If you make one in camo, I guarantee I can sell it.” I did and he did. He also sold 5 more. I was so excited, I haven’t even made them yet and they are sold. Something I made, is a blessing to someone else. I shared this with someone very important in my life and was brushed off. They said, “You won’t make enough, it’s not worth it. It takes too much time. There are easier and faster ways to make money.”

Mortal Blow. Ow. This is my dream! To write and create out of the abundance of the Lord. To not put my family after the job, I don’t even want, but must have. I put it off, ignored that response and asked to speak about it later. The response I got was surreal. They were bitter at me. Really bitter, turned some other issues we have had around and blamed me for things, I truly didn’t understand. Some things that are illogical, and grossly unfair. I am hurting so deeply over this and I am writing this because I need your prayers. Would you pray for me? I love this person so very much and I believe this incident will stay with us for some time if the Lord doesn’t become involved. I have lived through so many things with this person, forgiven so many wrongs and I need your prayers to remind me that 70 x 7 was an instruction from one who was perfect and blameless yet bore sin in my place. Please pray that I will forgive quickly and completely. I do not desire caring around this weight, or being full of anger or strife.

Pray. Please.




Standing in the Fire

Hi All! I hope this Friday found you in bright spirits! 

I am soliciting your prayers today. I know a few people right now going through life events that have the potential to take out the generations behind them. I won’t list their names, but they are hurting; truly devastated by what has been allowed in their lives. Strength only lasts until you believe hope is gone. I need your prayers for renewed strength, a renewed fight to rise up in them.

They need you. In my own marriage, when the days were so black that I couldn’t see the flame of hope in the distance, I had folks I didn’t know standing in the gap for me. They need you dear gap. There are children involved, hurting, confused children. Please lift them up, the Lord know who they are.

On the earth today men encounter more temptation than ever before. The enemy has placed his attacks on men. He took what God intended for good and perverted it. He knows that if He can take the man out- the entire family falls in his wake.

The greatest problem facing our churches, isn’t people leaving when they turn 18. It is dads being lured away, and mothers being told by the church, that if it was adultery the Bible says you can get divorce. Why do you think the enemy uses this? Why is sexual perversion the largest sin ripping families apart, because the enemy knows the word, and he says, If I can get a man from the church to commit adultery, I get his whole family and the church will back me up. Adultery isn’t a reason to divorce your spouse. I know there are some of you, who have lived with this and said, “when is enough, enough?” There are times most anyone will tell you, “you have gone through enough. you have tried, let it be”. THANK THE LORD, Jesus didn’t say on His way to calvary, “I think I have gone through enough, send the angels, I have suffered too greatly.”

I know what it is to see repeated painful, family destroying behaviors come into my home, take a piece of what we have worked so hard for and walk out with my peace. I have lived it. I do live it. I know what it is to see the Lord Himself take hold of a man, who doesn’t want anything to do with Him, and turn his entire life around. I have seen it. At the end of everyday, I know I live everyday to bring glory to the Lord. It is my role in this marriage. Marriage wasn’t intended for our happiness, but for His good. Get a prayer grip on your marriage and you don’t let go. You don’t back down, you put the enemy in his place, remind him of where he is. Whose you are. You speak over the doors and windows of your house, and you let people call you crazy and foolish for going back to a man that could cheat, leave, destroy you again; and then you go into your prayer closet and you tell the Lord thank you, for giving you another day with your husband, and ask Him to teach you to love him the way the Lord loves you, to see beyond who he is, to what he will be. Not because you changed him, but because the Lord changed him. Your marriage isn’t any more yours than your money- you are a steward of the marriage covenant, handle it as though it was the Lord’s. He would forgive it, the same way He forgives every other sin in your life. The ones your spouse doesn’t even know about.

Let your marriage define who the Lord is. What He is capable of. DO NOT GIVE UP! He is able. I wish I could tell you everything I have walked through. I wish you could see my tears spilling onto a pillow night after night, asking the Lord why He allowed this. I wish you could see my husband run to the altar as one man, and walking back to me as another. Is he perfect? Nope. Does he still mess up? Yep, but don’t we all? We as women tend to exalt our husbands sin above our own. The Lord doesn’t calculate how much blood Jesus shed for each kind of sin. He sees only a pool of blood at His sons feet.

If you are a married woman, pray for your husband today, you can not fathom the temptation put in place to distract him from you, the Lord and your children. He can not fight this alone, he needs you! Your prayers, your attention, your com hither eyes and your love. True love isn’t a feeling. It is intentional care. It is working through situations you swore you wouldn’t work through in your immaturity before marriage. Pray for woman of God to become mature wives. Spiritually mature, marriage mature, mothering mature. We live in this culture that distracts mothers from their children and they are raising themselves around us while we text, play on the computer, chat on Facebook with people we truly don’t want to see in person, but will sacrifice our time to pretend with, while our children wait patiently for our attention. We ignore our husbands needs because we live over our means and have to work full time to supply the money to fund a lifestyle God didn’t intend, and we are tired from working, and doing the things the Lord intended for us as women.

We are missing the mark- not you- but me. I am missing the mark. Countless babies are being murdered on my watch. This is my time on this earth, He places us here for such a time as this. I am watching divorce stats rise, because I don’t want to get in someone else’s business or get in the mix. Thank the Lord He put His Holy finger in my dirt at the well. Thankfully He took an adulteress woman and turned her into a woman whose desire is to please her God and her man.

We will miss it, and our children will pay. We MUST answer the call to action. We must. Our grandchildren will be completely separated from the Lord if we do not do something now, with this generation. They aren’t satisfied with anything. They want more and more, and they want it now. If we do not teach the contentment that comes from quiet time with Jesus, we are missing it! We are not fulfilling our duty! My toes hurt from stepping on them. This hurts me, it’s a realization that is affecting me. If NOT me, then who? Who will be able to go in my place? NO ONE. I was created with a specific purpose, so were you, and we must ACT. I don’t know how the Lord will lead you to act, but when He whispers, yells nudges you, please obey; my babies may need your children to be leaders of their faith one day, your babies may need my babies to pray with them over a friend when they are standing around the water cooler at work in 15 years. They may need a miracle, but if they don’t know the God of miracles because our culture has replaced him with THINGS, what will they do?

My heart is burdened, I don’t know what to do, or where to start, but at some point we must say, “enough is enough”. I will follow the cross down whatever road it leads me. I will not bow to pressure of my workplace, my culture or MY HOME. For so many, that is the easiest place to fall, when it should be the ONE place there is a standard that is maintained. Heaven should be able to fall in my home, if it isn’t there, that atmosphere isn’t following me anywhere, and without it, without Him,  I can do nothing.

At some point Ladies, and Gents, we will be called to prosecution for our faith, big or small, life or death, job or unemployment. It is coming to that, do not believe that this will all just work itself out without your voice. Without HIM, nothing changes. People are losing their jobs over their beliefs, your security can not be your job! If your in debt work your way out, so that when your faith and beliefs are called into question, you can walk away. He is your provider, your sustenance, it’s all from Him. You didn’t give yourself that career, He did, do not doubt that He will fulfill your dreams desires and visions, if you would, but seek Him First. He will give it all to you. He owns a cattle on a thousand hills… and the HILLS!!! He owns them all! He created this world, do you believe He is unable to grant you good and perfect things, if you offend someone by speaking for your God?

David went against Goliath, not for what He would gain- but because an uncircumcised Philistine dared to utter a word against His God. We go to movies, hear the Lords name used deplorably and we stay for the rest of the movie, because we don’t want to lose money, and the movie won’t affect us… it won’t change us. It’s a lie. It’s a great lie, but it is most assuredly a lie. We will be changed. We will be affected and we will reap what we sow. What goes in, will come out.

I don’t know what I am trying to say here, I just know, I am not ok with the state of this world, the culture and worse the church. Our churches should have a divorce rate of 0%. He didn’t die for your marriages to fail!

When you see a friend going through something- offer to keep the children, give her or them a time to get away from it all. Provide encouragement, not fuel.

If the grass looks greener on the other side, you probably need to take better care of yours. : )

Blessings and so much love.


White as Snow Days!

Our Fun Snow Days!



Praying your family is doing well during this gorgeous, snowy, wintry season.

So many are calling for Spring, but for me, there is something so fresh and beautiful about snow, cold air, and leafless trees.

Maybe it’s just me. It reminds me of being washed clean by the blood of the lamb. To be white as snow, literally, physically and spiritually.

It’s where transformation begins. If your grass is covered in snow, rain, ice, or beautiful flowers springing forth from the earth, take today and ask the Lord what areas of your life need to be opened up for Him to wash clean. If there is nothing brought to you, just sit with Him a minute. He loves your company!




Charming~ A Woman Who Fears the Lord

Proverbs 31:30

Charm is deceptive, and beauty does not last;
but a woman who fears the Lord will be greatly praised.

What I would give to be that kind of woman. To be a woman known to chase His heart.

I have walked so many paths… many that led to disaster. Most of those disasters have led me to His presence. That’s the place He waits for me, ready to handle my mistakes and make all the corrections necessary to make His word and plans for my life come to pass.

I have found that His love; undeserved, produces more change in me than regret ever could. I have been a practiced charmer, a flatterer. If I say it, I am genuinely thinking it, but the Lord has been working on me with this. I use charm and flattery, founded and unfounded to hide behind a mask. I posted about being unveiled in October. I have been trying to get out from behind the many masks my life has taken on. This has been a revealing time. I have seen myself almost in an out of body experience. Working so hard to be forgiven for so many mistakes. The Lord doesn’t require us to work ourselves out of sin. Period. He expects us to come to Him, where He can say, I already washed you baby. It would be like Loralei saying, “Mommy, will you wash the ice cream off my face?” and me saying, “I did that last week— when you ate the ice cream!” It’s the same! ! !

When He washes us clean, He doesn’t have to go back and do it again, but we in our humanness can not understand his forgiveness, because most of us can not forgive ourselves. We torture ourselves over and over again. We relieve the experience. We soak in our sin, instead of His forgiveness. We become stale, and smelly. As Christians, it gets even worse, because not only do we stay in our bin of sin, but we take on a spirit of hypocrisy as well, and we become exactly what the world thinks we are. All because we cannot move past our sin. We exalt the sin, instead of the man who paid a sinners ransom on our behalf. He is worthy. He makes everything new, your mind, your heart, your past, and your future.

This week, find out what hold you back, from the world seeing you, the real you, the one created in the image of God.  Search the word for clues. The Bible is like a clue book to me, it tells us how to avoid the booby traps of this world. It’s intent is to keep us from harm, and keep us close to His heart. Check Him out this week. See what He has to show you. He is waiting.



You Want… Me? Really?

Hi!!! I am coming off of an awesome weekend! Not at all Superbowl related! For those of you who are football fans, I hope you enjoyed the game!

We had a guest speaker at church this weekend, Pastor Bryn Waddell with Truth Temple in Kannapolis, NC. He came and gave 3 incredible messages, words from God for our region. Have you ever heard the phrase, “Nothing new under the sun?” This weekend there were a lot of “New things under the SON”. I was personally impacted by the messages shared. I have told you all before about the past, my past, not to glorify my sin, but to acknowledge the wrongs the Lord made right! He is incredible! He is able to do everything He promised to do.

I have been promised many things, over the years, I have been called out, more times than I can count. Each time I was unworthy of the call, but the calls still came. He sees in me what I can not see in myself. He sees in my what my family and friends can’t see in me. He takes an adulteress woman, a drunkard, a liar, a thief, and sees a leader, a faithful and on fire woman after His heart. He sees me. I wrote a few days ago about when Hagar, Sarah’s servant, who conceived Ishmael with Abraham before the promise was ready, had a moment with the Lord. She ran from who she was, she desired an escape from her situation, and she found Him. She called Him, “The One Who Sees Me”. She was saying, “He sees me, the real me, the one no one else views as important, or worthy, and He accepts me”.

This came back to me today, as I have been processing the onslaught of information, the complete and total download of His spirit. Sometimes when we say He’s overwhelming, we literally mean, He is overwhelming! I am so grateful for His love, and desire to see me changed, to take me out of the muck and into His incredible goodness. I won’t preach Pastor Bryn’s messages to you, but would tell you to visit any church near or far that he is speaking at, he is a man of God, and will be obedient to the Lord. If you are in the sound of his voice, you will be blessed.

I have battled with worth for quite some time now. I made decisions that I have felt negated promises the Lord made to me, I disqualified myself from the race before I ever ran. I saw more weakness than strength. I was not the kind of woman the Lord would use. I was the woman at the well in John 4. I was not only a used woman, but a willing one. I was broken and lying prostrate at the foot of the cross, and that is right where Jesus found me. I always knew of Him. All of my life, I followed Him to the letter of the law, save one thing… I had not love. I had rules, and laws, and regulations, and while those things are very important, He Himself told me, it’s worth nothing, if I don’t love. He allowed me to travel a road, a winding path, away from Him, to get to a place where I knew shame. I knew regret, and I knew soul wrenching despair, the kind that leaves you paralyzed. He came to me, right there in the dirt, sat down and laid my head in his lap. Wiped my mascara stained eyes, and whispered loving comfort to me, washed my soiled hands and then lifted me to my feet.

This is where I got lost- I erected a monument engraved: Lost Girl Found… and I stayed there.

He didn’t. See, He didn’t just find me. He claimed me. Completely restored who I was, down to my DNA. There are so many children lost in this world, actual children, needing homes and families. So many are chosen by their looks, by the outward appearance. This is done so unlike God. He doesn’t look at the outward, He warns us not to either. If we do, we see in the natural, He desires us to see in the supernatural. To see what is not as those it is.

His monument said: New Girl Claimed.

An adopted child, comes with very little to their new home, their new family. They bring different things depending on their age, time without a family and memories locked within. Some good and some bad, but when you take them home, claimed, as your child; everything is new. EVERYTHING. You have created a place for them, a safe place, where they can grow under your wisdom, learn from your knowledge, and receive a chance towards things they can only dream about. You in your love, will do all you can to make those dreams come true, you will prepare them for the dream. You will guide them, teach them and train them to be everything they can be. When they break their promises to you, it will hurt, but it will not deter the course of action you have set in place. When they hurt you, you will be wounded, but you will continue to create in them all the beauty you know exists. You will not leave them, you will love them and tell them, to get it together, and show them what you have for them when they do.

That is Our God. He is that kind of parent, He corrects, and disciplines when necessary, He holds you when you have fallen, and skinned your knee, or your pride, He loves when He should be angry, He runs towards when He should walk away, and this God, this incredible God, says, “If I made you the promise. Get it in order, so I can bring it to pass”. Whoa. It sounds simple doesn’t it? Who knew that the 10 year hiccup in my life, could so easily be corrected. Yes I am flawed, I made mistakes, but I was forgiven. Yes I got words from God, special things He wanted to do in my life, but I was unwilling to let go of the past, and where I am going, it can’t come with me.

Today, you too, can make a decision. You can choose to follow Him, and drop everything in the dust as you walk towards His plans, or you can do what I did, sit down, right where He found you, too afraid to move for fear of walking in the wrong direction. There is a neon sign on you today… He is ready for you, calling for you. Will you answer?

His promises, His words to you, are based on His goodness, not yours! Isn’t that refreshing! 🙂

Love Ya


Wasting it All… on Him

Every now and then a song grabs me, the lyrics so incredibly linked to my hearts cry that I am inexplicably drawn into it. I heard this at church recently and each time they sing it, I am overwhelmed with His sacrifice for me.

That He loved me enough- mirred down in muck and dirt, He got down on my level. Can you see the woman at the well? Covered in shame, hiding who she was, lowering herself to the dirt, because she was in the presence of Him. Instead of standing above her, He lowered himself, as He did, she gained worth and value that she hadn’t felt in many years. His love for her, His mercy released her to go and sin no more.

POWERFUL! Can you imagine, Him looking you in your eyes, kneeling on the ground while you know you are dead to rites- this is Him, the man they call Messiah; and His love conveying a look that prompts immediate change in you. The love of your Savior is deep, wide, overwhelming, over flowing, never ending, never ceasing, and all for you.

How could we not waste ourselves on Him? Our belongings are worthless, our careers are worthless, our lives worthless, all we are is worthless, unless He is breathing on us, transforming us with one look, one glance into His eyes.  We are Overwhelmed with everything now, except Him, the one who Overwhelms us with love and joy. Be Overwhelmed, and pour it all back on Him.


Waste it All-

Covered in shame, hiding my face
I owed a debt I could not pay
Searching in vain to fill my heart’s ache
I threw my work away

When I thought all was lost
You saw me and You came to my defense
This priceless gift You gave
Was not meant for me to hold

I wanna waste it all on You
I wanna pour my heart’s perfume
I don’t care if I’m called a fool
I’m wasting it all on You

Lifting my head, holding my face
Wiping my endless tears away
You unlock my heart whispering grace
How could I leave this place?

When I’m here at Your feet
I can feel You, all the voices fade away
I will spend all my days
Giving back the love You gave

I’m gonna waste it all on You
I’m gonna pour my heart’s perfume
I don’t care if I’m called a fool
I’m wasting it all on You

All for love and all for me
You gave it all for me to be
Alive in You and You in me
Lord I surrender
To Your love and to Your touch
And to the way You give too much
I’m too in love to not be all for You!

I’m gonna waste it all on You
I’m gonna pour my heart’s perfume
I don’t care if I’m called a fool
I’m wasting it all on You

Can you feel His presence, He wants to rest with you, ask Him to forgive all this is unclean, and when He is done, forgive yourself, ask forgiveness for those you have wronged and then run back into the village as she did, and tell everyone you can about the love of the Messiah, Jesus.