The Impact of Closet Prayers

For most of us, there is one moment- at minimum- that you regret more than any other moment. The reasons for the regret can be multiple, but the key is, it can’t be changed, or deleted. The moment happened. I have that moment stored, and I hold it close, because to expose that moment would break me, and everyone around me. I have allowed that moment to hold me captive for years. I look at it and remember it all the time. I will expose some of that moment now, so that it can’t haunt me any longer, and I will give God glory- because He is faithful and He is light in the darkness.

As I have shared before, I lost my step father in July of 2008 while I was separated from my husband, Tim. It was a difficult time and a horrendous loss of life. Even knowing he is with God, I am unable to find total peace. I desire too, but there is a weight upon me. I heard of Chris’ injury and went to see him, and while I was there I was making plans for my night. I left that day and went to watch my brother play softball, and when I left there I went somewhere else. The problem here is that normally, I am the one who goes to the hospital and stays until someone forces me to leave, unfortunately, my heart was so mixed up I selfishly left Chris and my mom to deal with it. While I was out in places I shouldn’t have been, my step father who I so desperately love, was slipping away and I wasn’t there to catch him. Even after he caught me so many times, and balanced me back out.

The last few weeks have been stressful and what happens to me, may happen to you, I get overwhelmed and I go to a place of darkness and I sit there and think of all of my mistakes, my errors- much like King David. Not that I am a Queen or Royalty, but I can read my own thoughts in the Psalms. Last night I had some worship music on and I felt like I needed to go to my closet to pray. Yes, my closet- I even cleaned it so I would have room on the floor to get on my face before the Lord. I opened my Bible and turned straight to Psalms 51, and I wept; because-there are not coincidences in His word, and the moment that you read it. He has a direct goal to bring you into His presence, to speak to you.

Psalms 51 is David crying out for God’s forgiveness after his sin with Bathsheba. He is asking God to restore his joy, to reunite his spirit with the heart of God. As I read this, I could relate on such a level that I almost felt like I was in the Kings palace, knowing I have everything, but not allowing that to satisfy me, and then carrying the weight of my sin along with all of my armor. The load is heavy, but He- Oh the Lord is faithful. As I was weeping I heard the closet door open, and felt a little body slip in. I didn’t look up, just continued to cry and pray to the Lord, and I heard a sweet voice calling out for God to come- to be with us in mommy’s closet. I looked up and my son-7 has his face on the carpet crying out to the Lord, and I broke.

That is our God. That is His presence and His love. He calls us to a place of brokenness and then He showers us with blessings and favor far beyond what we deserve. My sin deserved death. My God exchanged my sentence and instead gave me life. My heart exalts the Lord, exhorts His Name. He is a faithful, and just God. He is a loving father, and a joyful friend. He is one who mourns with you, and calls you back to joy.

I cannot take back my errors or my decisions, and despite how highly I thought of myself, I could not save my dear step father- I am not God. He allowed the loss, and while I may carry the pain and guilt of that for years to come, I know that I am forgiven and I am loved- beyond measure, against all odds, He calls to me, and says, “My Beloved, come.”

He says that to you today as well, “My Beloved, come.” He wants you to bring Him nothing but yourself, broken, used, devastated, heart broken, hurting, lonely, empty. He wants to take us from paupers, commoners and promote us to Royalty. He says- “For you and You alone, I would send my son to die, a sinner’s death- your death- on a cross- because I so desperately love you, that I had to tear the veil to give you access to my Holy Places.”

Go to Him today- and lay yourself before the Lord- and let your children see a contrite heart before the Lord. Show them the access that Jesus paid for- teach them to pave a way into His presence.

Blessings,

mel

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Fully Invested Moments

There are defining moments in every persons life. My moments have been like yours, some grab you and you feel completely unable to handle the battle in front of you. You are David and Goliath is standing there, and the stones are slipping from your hands, as the sword is thrust powerfully through your armor and you are completely unprepared for the wound that hides under the armor.

Other moments, you already have the sling in the air, and the whirring sound of it whizzing around is more deafening than the shaking of an entire armies armor. The stone connects and you didn’t even realize you released it.

stone

I don’t know what moment this is for me. It is a moment, something is changing, something deep within me, that is un-content with the same ole stuff. Dreams are coming back to life that I buried long ago, and they came back bigger. Like a weed does, with those dreams coming back bigger, fears have grown until they tower over me. I am learning that my greatest fear is to be forgotten.

That my  life will have counted-for nothing. I am nothing but a vapor anyway. I don’t know about you, I really don’t. Most of you, if you follow this, I don’t know your names, I haven’t even figured out (despite being quite tech savy) how to figure out who does or doesn’t get a copy of this in their email everyday. I don’t know your life, your story. Your hopes, dreams, failures- epic failures. I just know we are all the same, because we have them. I believe you, like I have hopes that are gigantic, and wonderful and could change so many lives for the better, and I have fears that even if I accomplish those things they will all come crumbling down. My main purpose of this has always been to be real. To not be the one everyone wants to be like. There are some bloggers, and I sit in amazement at their accomplishments, both personally and professionally and I think how much I wish I was like them. But, I am not. I am me, and my life is quite messy and my best guess is, your’s is too. Marriage isn’t easy. Children aren’t easy. Work isn’t easy, both in and out of the home. Recreation isn’t easy, and relationships in general… well… they aren’t easy.

The one thing that is easy: Prayer. Because in the midst of your “I don’t know if I can keep doing this moment”, there is a still small voice. The one that spoke you into existence that says, “my strength is made perfect in your weakness”. It’s true isn’t it? When we can no longer hold our head up, mysteriously and miraculously, it somehow sits up there… and not only is it functional as a hat holder- there is a smile that comes from deep within, that the God of the Universe is FULLY invested in my mess. He isn’t a Jeanie in the bottle— we can’t “rub” Him the right way- He doesn’t work like that, but He is fully capable and incredibly able to make all of your yucky days; well. He can turn the dark skies to sunny in an instant, and He wants too. That’s my favorite part. He wants to hold my hand. He wants to tell me He loves me, and He wants more than anything to be my everything.

No matter where you are in this journey of life, grace and faith; He is there, and He loves you. So much.

Blessings Friends- whose names I do not know,

mel

In the Action!

Hey There!

I have missed you. I wonder sometimes what would happen if I just stopped writing, and then due to a crazy unexpected week, I did, and I realized exactly what would happen… I begin to go… well crazy.

Tim, and the kids don’t deserve crazy me, so if I stop writing- pray for them, they need it! 🙂

We have had a week. I won’t go into details, but hear me when I say, this week could not have been more unexpected. If you are having one of those days, weeks, months or years, my family has been there. We have walked almost every crisis on the planet. Literally- this is not an exaggeration. We have learned one thing in this process. God is Faithful. Always.

He never misses the opportunity to turn your life around. He never is caught unaware of what is coming your way.

He is always able, and always willing to inject Himself into your mess- self created or otherwise.

He is God, He is incredible and His grace is enough for you. No matter what you are walking through, or what you have put someone else through.

If you have a moment- please pray for our family today, or whenever you read this, that God will give us grace to forgive, as He has forgiven us. Don’t believe for a moment that the Lord has forgotten you, or misplaced you. Continue to cry out to Him, His ears are open— does God have ears?

I’ll leave you with that thought!

Blessings,

mel

 

It’s a Struggle

To do or not to do.

To say or not to say.

To give or not to give.

No matter how we slice it- we always have a choice to make.

 

I am guilty of making the wrong choice- too often. I have a temper.I don’t want to have a temper. I would love to be even keel, but it wasn’t how I was programmed, so I have to consciously make a choice to be kinder than necessary in moments of frustration.

I really blow this often. You guys know from pasts post’s that Loralei and Cash call me Hulk Smash, and they have become great indicators of when my temper is rising. Cash began raising his eyebrows when I start to get frustrated. I have asked them to help me. Doing that let’s them know that a.) I don’t want to be that way, b.) I am willing to change, c.) That I value them and want their help in my struggle to beat this thing.

They have learned that when I walk out of a room, to not follow me, and I extend the same courtesy. We have a literal open door policy. When you are in your room, unless you are changing your clothing, your door is open. No doors should be slamming- ever. This has been difficult as Cash has walked through some moments of increased frustration due mostly to academic struggles, and his natural response tends to be destroy and slam. I have to accept some of that upon myself- as he has learned from me in my moments of anger to lash out; how that wounds me as a mother. This is a large reason that I try to change and include them on the journey.

Cash is much like adult me, while Loralei is like a younger me.  When she is angry, she just cries, and hides. I often did the very same thing as friends and family can attest. It was how I coped. What we have gone through with Cash has been far different than anything I have seen before. While he indeed learned negative behaviors from me, he has some that are all his own. I share these, not to embarrass or humiliate Cash, but to let other moms know- You are not alone; and for the children who do these things- You are not alone either.

We have seen incredible growth in Cash’s ability to regulate himself, but there are many times that he simply is maxed out- on everything. It can feel like a normal day with laughter and joking and then in a moment there is a snap in his demeanor. A sudden and unpredictable change. Most often this occurs during homework time, and I began this journey assuming he was overly tired, or hungry, and those still may be reasons, but I am just not sure. His temper will take over and before I know it, he is in a rage. Yelling, throwing things, destroying whatever is in his path. He covers his ears even though he is the one making the noise. I hold him, as loosely and yet as tight as I can. I want to protect him, and keep him from harming himself, and then I pray. I hold him, and rock him and he pushes against me, fist clenched and he hits, and kicks and I hold to him; just as the Lord does me. His skin is so hot to touch- it’s like a fire is caught on the inside of him. Then a time will come- it seems as though it’s days later, but its mere minutes and he relaxes, and his hands have found a blanket, a shirt, or a string and he whirls it around his nose, his fingers that we try so hard to get him to stop sucking settle into his mouth and he starts to breath in and out, and then I know, I have my son back.

It is traumatic, it is hard, and it is unfair- but this is our hand, and we know with the Lord’s help we can play it well.

He apologies before I have even let him go and he ushers in promises to clean his now destroyed room, and after a few minutes of cooling down, he does- his skin temperature is coming down and we together work to fix the mess. For the remainder of that day, he will stick closer to me, and I to him, reassuring love back and forth in the midst of  the days events. I come away bruised and wounded, absorbing his crushing words in anger, and injuries in action. In these moments I want nothing more than to know what causes his reaction so that I can stop it. Is it a food? Stress? A smell? A word? A tone of voice? What is it?

I doubt many of you experience this, if people did, it would be talked about so much more; or would it? Are we afraid to say our children like us, have flaws? Are we unwilling to reach out to one another for help? For encouragement, for strength?

I don’t know; but what I do know, is everyday I have to make a choice to be a faithful wife, and a good mother. After working a full day at work and caring for the needs of a corporation, it is difficult to be either of those things. It is then, in the weariness that I have to acknowledge that it is a choice, I can get into the action, as I do with Cash; or I can sit there and watch it pass me by. Tired or not, weary or not, overwhelmed or not, I have a choice, and I have determined that because of Whose I am. I can do all things, and so can Cash. He can overcome because Jesus overcame. It may be a test of our strength or his will, but because of the blood of a sinless man on the cross at Calvary, we can do this. You and I. We are able. In His strength, and not our own.

Blessings,

mel

 

It’s His- Give it up!

I am behind the curve- I just heard “He Knows My Name” by Francesca Battistelli—The words to that song… wow.

I have been singing since I was a little girl. Like a really little girl. I love it. It has given me such joy and such pain. When you sing, you are exposed. It’s the only way I can describe it. It’s not an instrument where your fingernail can catch on a string, or the pedal on the keyboard gets stuck- if you mess up vocally- it’s all on you.

I am a perfectionist.

I take every word out of my mouth in song, incredibly seriously.

I have failed.

I have succeeded.

I have led and been led into worship more times than I can count and the day I get to sing around His throne is the day my dreams come true.

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Created, In Heavenly Places

“The Lord merely spoke, and the heavens were created. He breathed the word, and all the stars were born.” Psalm 33:6
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Take a moment and allow yourself to be captivated by a Glory so incredible that stars were breathed on a word. He, the Lord of the universe, spoke the stars into existence. The Bible Says, He “Merely”, spoke. Can you imagine what a shout would do? What about a loud boisterous laugh? He barely speaks, one word. It doesn’t imply he spoke a sentence, just a word, and He changed the Universe forever. 
I don’t know about you, but there are days when life takes over and I feel like I am struggling for air; and all I want in the world is for the Creator of the Universe to breathe on me. Are you familiar with that song, “This is the air, I breathe…” That song has carried me through some of my greatest and worst days. I can remember singing it with great fervor because I knew with confidence He was the very air in my body, and I can remember singing it on days when I was so beaten down by the world, that it was more of a repetitious reminder to breathe.
What I love, is that when we breathe in, we breathe in Oxygen which is of course the very essence of our being; we can not function without it, but when we breathe out we are removing from within ourselves that which is harmful to our human form. I believe that He shows us in so many easy to understand ways that He is the good in us, without Him, we have nothing, with Him we are able to expel everything corrupted within us. It is my prayer that on days like today, I choose to believe that the God of the Universe, the Creator of every living being, chose to sacrifice His son, to a sinners death on a cross, to raise me with Christ from the dead, to live and breathe and show the love of He who knew no sin.
His love is amazing, there is no comparison, there is no greater feeling, than being wrapped in the arms of grace, or sitting at the feet of Almighty Jesus, proclaiming, “Holy, Holy, Holy, is the Lord God Almighty”. Would you sit there with me and just love on Him. I have found, that the more I choose to love on Him when my world is upside down, the faster the world turns right side up. I finally  realized I can’t drive from the passenger seat without a mishap or two. 
Make Time to Love on the Star Creator; Your Creator today. 
Blessings,
mel

Drenched

Yesterday I experienced something brand new in worship. Something I have never had happen before. I had a vision. It was so awesome and so simple and I thought, “wow, this is what it’s like”?!

Remember that song- Keith Whitley did and then Alison Krauss remade it- “When you say nothing at all”?

That was my dad and my song. We used to sing it together, and now when I hear it, I cry or weep or think about how different this life has been, how the unexpected is always unexpected. When you thought you knew someone and then realize that you never really did. Or when you are so overwhelmed with disappointment and hurt that you cut off any and everything that has the potential to enter that inner circle. “When you say nothing at all” has some incredible words, my favorites were, “try as I may, I could never explain, what I hear when you don’t say a thing”.

That’t what yesterday was like. I saw what I couldn’t hear. He is incredible. The God who spun you into existence long before He laid the foundations of the earth; He is amazing.

I left my house in a rush yesterday because I was running late to get to worship practice; it was pouring rain, in a way I haven’t seen in a very long time. The ground was unable to absorb it quickly enough so it was pooling rapidly in our ditch out front. The ditch is normally bone dry and it is at a minimum 2 feet deep. It was overflowing as I was pulling out of the driveway, and I focused and went on in to church. As the service ramped up during worship, we were singing Fire Fall Down. For those of you who have experienced open worship that’s a normal style worship song, but for so many others the thought of calling Fire down sounds a bit strange and uncomfortable. As we were worshipping though I saw my ditch flooding over and felt it impressed upon me without words that the Lord is desiring to pour Himself out like the rain yesterday morning, so much that we can not contain His presence, that it floods over onto everyone and everything around us. I could feel His desperation for us to experience His fullness and I spoke. I expressed exactly that to the congregation gathered there in His name. I rarely speak into microphones, I sing, and sing only, and even when I am singing, I rarely want to use a microphone because He is the only one I care to sing to. My worship isn’t for people, it’s for the living God who set me free, who drew me into His arms when I was unworthy to rest there. He took in a pauper and made her a princess. It is the perfect picture of His mercy and grace in our lives, that we would sup with Him at His dinner table.

As I was speaking I could sense fear crowding in around me, would I be judged, do the people who know me best think, “What is she doing, she is so flawed.” I was feeling pressure, “If I mess this up, then the service is changed and not for the better.”  At the end, I just had to embrace the courage to speak out, because holding it in not only could have trapped me in fear of ever speaking, or not giving someone a picture that the Lord had for them, and the courage to reach out and take what the Lord was offering.

If you are in a dry and desperate place today, reach out to Him, He is waiting to take your hand and lead you on a path of restoration, goodness and mercy!!!

Get drenched in His presence today!

Blessings,

mel

Broccoli & Cheese

Holy, Holy, Holy

Merciful and Mighty

God in three persons

Blessed Trinity

 

I forget sometimes that there are 3 in 1.

Do you ever do that? It’s like when you eat Broccoli and Cheese… I am mentioning this, because I had some at my moms last week for the first time since I moved out 11 years ago… how did I go 11 years without Broccoli and Cheese???? It’s the perfect example of something healthy becoming grossly unhealthy!

But the Trinity is a little like that… God= Broccoli, (Don’t get mad at me, God knows I love Him way more than Broccoli… 🙂 ) Jesus= Cheese- delicious Cheddar chunk cheese mixed with shredded Mozzarella… and we think those at the main part of what make the food so good… and they have a share in it, but the missing ingredient that gave so much flavor was the salt. I mean who doesn’t love salt? Other than the people with high blood pressure and cholesterol of course?

Holy Spirit covers us, as we are and then adds something unique to Him. His presence…, That His was meaning the 3 all together of course.

When we live with just the cheese covering the broccoli we are missing the extra goodness of salt.

I am nothing without all three of them. I am so glad Holy Spirit lives and moves and has it’s being in me. I am changed every moment I allow Him to lead me. I am more like Him, and who doesn’t want to be more like the one who is without blemish or wrinkle? ME!!!

Blessings,

mel

 

 

When I can’t do anything else… I can pray

Hello Dear Friends,

I am sitting in front of my computer looking quite pitiful tonight.

Have you desperately loves someone before? I mean really gave up a part of you to love them?

Then they wound you, mortally. A searing pain rips through you, and you begin to see that maybe they aren’t who you thought they were, and then doubt creeps in.

Doubt is just that- a creep.

I think there could be no pain like being wounded by your best friend, your most trusted ally. The one you run too before a battle for encouragement and the one who lifts your head when the battle didn’t go so well. When that person, the one you adore hurts you, there is a loss of blood. There is a stain dripped down onto that bright white garment you wear. It’s color once bright fades to a dark, bitter maroon, and then a rusty brown. I wonder if that is something that happened before or after the cross. Was it always that color upon death of the cells, or did blood change forever to a rusty nail infested color after our Saviors hands were hung like a picture frame to a wooden cross.

I write because I feel the Lord when I do. You will see if you read more than this post that He somehow comes in, a midst my ramblings and hijacks whatever I was saying, and He encourages you. I am only human, so incredibly feeble and feeling. I am so glad He doesn’t operate upon his feelings for us.

When you have been hurt, there is only one who can bring peace, comfort, and restore what is lost, broken or dead; Jesus, Himself. He sends Holy Spirit to begin working in our heart to promote a softness among a wall of pain. He send in archers of love – like cupid- to begin ministering to the broken part of us, and He begins to heal. He doesn’t move quickly- this I know. He moves at His own speed, and who are we-literally to question it. But… my husband hates that word- we do question Him don’t we? We don’t understand and we weren’t meant too, the timing was off, the right people weren’t in place, the one who hurt you hadn’t acknowledged their part in the equation.

I have few things that I deeply enjoy. I am an introvert. I actually took a test that told me that and I didn’t believe it at first. I have lately begun to see the signs. My favorite activities are reading, sewing, singing, and staying home. I am a homebody, and because I go out to work everyday, when I get off, the only place I want to be is home. I want to be at the place my favorite people are. I enjoy them, they are why I work to begin with! I have begun sewing things that actually have the potential to be sold.

I was so excited when I sold my first bag. Right after that I was asked to make a memory quilt and I jumped at the opportunity to use something I love to bless someone else. I didn’t charge much because this was something that would become a legacy for someone else. Then the same person asked for multiple quilts- about 7. I sewed and sewed and I am still sewing and sewing to finish the last 3. I made a purse in camo because my darling brother said to me, “If you make one in camo, I guarantee I can sell it.” I did and he did. He also sold 5 more. I was so excited, I haven’t even made them yet and they are sold. Something I made, is a blessing to someone else. I shared this with someone very important in my life and was brushed off. They said, “You won’t make enough, it’s not worth it. It takes too much time. There are easier and faster ways to make money.”

Mortal Blow. Ow. This is my dream! To write and create out of the abundance of the Lord. To not put my family after the job, I don’t even want, but must have. I put it off, ignored that response and asked to speak about it later. The response I got was surreal. They were bitter at me. Really bitter, turned some other issues we have had around and blamed me for things, I truly didn’t understand. Some things that are illogical, and grossly unfair. I am hurting so deeply over this and I am writing this because I need your prayers. Would you pray for me? I love this person so very much and I believe this incident will stay with us for some time if the Lord doesn’t become involved. I have lived through so many things with this person, forgiven so many wrongs and I need your prayers to remind me that 70 x 7 was an instruction from one who was perfect and blameless yet bore sin in my place. Please pray that I will forgive quickly and completely. I do not desire caring around this weight, or being full of anger or strife.

Pray. Please.

Blessings,

mel

 

Standing in the Fire

Hi All! I hope this Friday found you in bright spirits! 

I am soliciting your prayers today. I know a few people right now going through life events that have the potential to take out the generations behind them. I won’t list their names, but they are hurting; truly devastated by what has been allowed in their lives. Strength only lasts until you believe hope is gone. I need your prayers for renewed strength, a renewed fight to rise up in them.

They need you. In my own marriage, when the days were so black that I couldn’t see the flame of hope in the distance, I had folks I didn’t know standing in the gap for me. They need you dear gap. There are children involved, hurting, confused children. Please lift them up, the Lord know who they are.

On the earth today men encounter more temptation than ever before. The enemy has placed his attacks on men. He took what God intended for good and perverted it. He knows that if He can take the man out- the entire family falls in his wake.

The greatest problem facing our churches, isn’t people leaving when they turn 18. It is dads being lured away, and mothers being told by the church, that if it was adultery the Bible says you can get divorce. Why do you think the enemy uses this? Why is sexual perversion the largest sin ripping families apart, because the enemy knows the word, and he says, If I can get a man from the church to commit adultery, I get his whole family and the church will back me up. Adultery isn’t a reason to divorce your spouse. I know there are some of you, who have lived with this and said, “when is enough, enough?” There are times most anyone will tell you, “you have gone through enough. you have tried, let it be”. THANK THE LORD, Jesus didn’t say on His way to calvary, “I think I have gone through enough, send the angels, I have suffered too greatly.”

I know what it is to see repeated painful, family destroying behaviors come into my home, take a piece of what we have worked so hard for and walk out with my peace. I have lived it. I do live it. I know what it is to see the Lord Himself take hold of a man, who doesn’t want anything to do with Him, and turn his entire life around. I have seen it. At the end of everyday, I know I live everyday to bring glory to the Lord. It is my role in this marriage. Marriage wasn’t intended for our happiness, but for His good. Get a prayer grip on your marriage and you don’t let go. You don’t back down, you put the enemy in his place, remind him of where he is. Whose you are. You speak over the doors and windows of your house, and you let people call you crazy and foolish for going back to a man that could cheat, leave, destroy you again; and then you go into your prayer closet and you tell the Lord thank you, for giving you another day with your husband, and ask Him to teach you to love him the way the Lord loves you, to see beyond who he is, to what he will be. Not because you changed him, but because the Lord changed him. Your marriage isn’t any more yours than your money- you are a steward of the marriage covenant, handle it as though it was the Lord’s. He would forgive it, the same way He forgives every other sin in your life. The ones your spouse doesn’t even know about.

Let your marriage define who the Lord is. What He is capable of. DO NOT GIVE UP! He is able. I wish I could tell you everything I have walked through. I wish you could see my tears spilling onto a pillow night after night, asking the Lord why He allowed this. I wish you could see my husband run to the altar as one man, and walking back to me as another. Is he perfect? Nope. Does he still mess up? Yep, but don’t we all? We as women tend to exalt our husbands sin above our own. The Lord doesn’t calculate how much blood Jesus shed for each kind of sin. He sees only a pool of blood at His sons feet.

If you are a married woman, pray for your husband today, you can not fathom the temptation put in place to distract him from you, the Lord and your children. He can not fight this alone, he needs you! Your prayers, your attention, your com hither eyes and your love. True love isn’t a feeling. It is intentional care. It is working through situations you swore you wouldn’t work through in your immaturity before marriage. Pray for woman of God to become mature wives. Spiritually mature, marriage mature, mothering mature. We live in this culture that distracts mothers from their children and they are raising themselves around us while we text, play on the computer, chat on Facebook with people we truly don’t want to see in person, but will sacrifice our time to pretend with, while our children wait patiently for our attention. We ignore our husbands needs because we live over our means and have to work full time to supply the money to fund a lifestyle God didn’t intend, and we are tired from working, and doing the things the Lord intended for us as women.

We are missing the mark- not you- but me. I am missing the mark. Countless babies are being murdered on my watch. This is my time on this earth, He places us here for such a time as this. I am watching divorce stats rise, because I don’t want to get in someone else’s business or get in the mix. Thank the Lord He put His Holy finger in my dirt at the well. Thankfully He took an adulteress woman and turned her into a woman whose desire is to please her God and her man.

We will miss it, and our children will pay. We MUST answer the call to action. We must. Our grandchildren will be completely separated from the Lord if we do not do something now, with this generation. They aren’t satisfied with anything. They want more and more, and they want it now. If we do not teach the contentment that comes from quiet time with Jesus, we are missing it! We are not fulfilling our duty! My toes hurt from stepping on them. This hurts me, it’s a realization that is affecting me. If NOT me, then who? Who will be able to go in my place? NO ONE. I was created with a specific purpose, so were you, and we must ACT. I don’t know how the Lord will lead you to act, but when He whispers, yells nudges you, please obey; my babies may need your children to be leaders of their faith one day, your babies may need my babies to pray with them over a friend when they are standing around the water cooler at work in 15 years. They may need a miracle, but if they don’t know the God of miracles because our culture has replaced him with THINGS, what will they do?

My heart is burdened, I don’t know what to do, or where to start, but at some point we must say, “enough is enough”. I will follow the cross down whatever road it leads me. I will not bow to pressure of my workplace, my culture or MY HOME. For so many, that is the easiest place to fall, when it should be the ONE place there is a standard that is maintained. Heaven should be able to fall in my home, if it isn’t there, that atmosphere isn’t following me anywhere, and without it, without Him,  I can do nothing.

At some point Ladies, and Gents, we will be called to prosecution for our faith, big or small, life or death, job or unemployment. It is coming to that, do not believe that this will all just work itself out without your voice. Without HIM, nothing changes. People are losing their jobs over their beliefs, your security can not be your job! If your in debt work your way out, so that when your faith and beliefs are called into question, you can walk away. He is your provider, your sustenance, it’s all from Him. You didn’t give yourself that career, He did, do not doubt that He will fulfill your dreams desires and visions, if you would, but seek Him First. He will give it all to you. He owns a cattle on a thousand hills… and the HILLS!!! He owns them all! He created this world, do you believe He is unable to grant you good and perfect things, if you offend someone by speaking for your God?

David went against Goliath, not for what He would gain- but because an uncircumcised Philistine dared to utter a word against His God. We go to movies, hear the Lords name used deplorably and we stay for the rest of the movie, because we don’t want to lose money, and the movie won’t affect us… it won’t change us. It’s a lie. It’s a great lie, but it is most assuredly a lie. We will be changed. We will be affected and we will reap what we sow. What goes in, will come out.

I don’t know what I am trying to say here, I just know, I am not ok with the state of this world, the culture and worse the church. Our churches should have a divorce rate of 0%. He didn’t die for your marriages to fail!

When you see a friend going through something- offer to keep the children, give her or them a time to get away from it all. Provide encouragement, not fuel.

If the grass looks greener on the other side, you probably need to take better care of yours. : )

Blessings and so much love.

mel